Learning From Your Ex-Friends, Re-Establishing Love

Sometimes we manifest a lie; hatred, self-doubt. We may feel like we attract the types of people who seemingly never have any respect for us. However, this might not always be the case. Often-times, we actually attract the people we need in our lives in order to grow and better help ourselves in the future.

At some point, you may feel like the ones who turned their back on you, were out to get you all along... when really, it could've only gotten to this point because they'd reached their limits with you. It isn't a mistake to think these people would've been "the real deal", nor to have considered them as our life-long friends and trusted soulmates. In fact, they most-likely were your trusted friend at some point in the history of your relationships.

To better understand this, it's important to realize that we don't always attract bad people, but we do attract people who will show us the version of ourselves we put out into the world.

One thing I often forget to remind myself, through times like these, is that: when life is teaching us a lesson, we'll feel immense pain during this process. And the end result will be a very long story we can learn from and take with us. Or, we can choose to manifest it into negativity and thus, bring even more hard lessons towards us based on the same first lesson we were supposed to've learned but didn't.


Through life's downs we must ask ourselves:

  • Am I being hated because I lack self-love?

  • Was it always this bad?

And when times are good we should ask:

  • Am I being loved because I love myself enough?

  • Did I attract the wrong people or were they wrong to me for my lack of self-love?


Learning and Manifesting Love

There are different variants to this idea that we attract people who are like us. They mimic who we are quite well. They show us things about ourselves that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to see on our own.

To better understand where this "hate" comes from, we must better understand the minute details that make the bigger picture...

  • What role did they play in my life?

  • Were they always this upset with me?

  • What are they trying to show me?

  • How can I learn from them?

  • Manifesting love of self.


1. What Role Did They Play in My Life?

Through the course of your time knowing them, perhaps they were trying to set an example for you as a key role-model. When a person does this, they often have a lot of advice to give you, and act as though there are many things in your life that need to change.

Your friends and acquaintances may often correct you constantly, and bring people around you who will do the same for you as they are.

If you want to understand what exactly they are trying to show you, pay attention to what your friends say while they aren't the happiest with you. Are they judging the way you talk to people? Are they constantly telling you to move past an ex? Are they saying you need to focus more on school instead of games? Or do they say you need to be nicer?

Whatever it is that they complain about you to you, make note of this and also compare these complaints to the ones your other acquaintances give you.

Doing this can help you to establish what role your friends were trying to play in your life all along. It's important to treat this with the grain of salt it deserves because they most-likely see something in you that you aren't aware of, that needs changing. Be careful though; if it's just one person who seems to be picking at everything you do even if everyone else is fine with it, you might just have an enemy from the start. In this case, cleanse your energy of this person, you don't need them around your positive energy.

2. Were My Friends Always This Upset With Me?

In the moment it's usually hard to know whether your friends are just jealous of you or if they are genuinely concerned about the way you are behaving. After all, who are they to tell you what to do, right?

Looking at the bigger picture can help us understand where the "upset" started. Perhaps they are angry with you because you weren't hearing what they were saying or you refused to learn from it. It's a great blessing to have someone who can show you the right way to do things sometimes. When they feel like they aren't getting through to you, they then become upset.

3. What Are They Trying to Show Me?

Having no friends or being left alone can feel like the whole world is against you. If it does get to this point, and you don't want to be this lonely or you feel as though you need to be more in-tune with yourself, try to understand what it is they want you to change about yourself. Or better yet, what you want to change. Reflect on the good times and the bad, the good people and the bad people. When were you most happy and how were you achieving that? At what point did it go south?

Establish a time that your relationship started to dwindle with these people. Once you've done so, make it a goal to try to grow past this moment; become better based on what you learned from them during these hard times. You will begin to notice how much your life will start to change, and how many people begin to notice you in a more positive way again.

4. How Can I Learn From Them?

Once you've done some inner reflecting work, you can then start to manifest the change you want. Based on the other three points, you can retrace your footsteps to see where you may have slipped up and how you can fix the past love you used to receive. You can then use this to create a better understanding of what you can do to feel better about feeling like nobody else will ever love you - that's not the truth. Also, you can create a better understanding of yourself this way because you are realizing along the way what kind of mistakes you've made and how to prevent them from happening again; self-growth. Your worth in this world is more than who loves you, you also need to love yourself too. And by fixing the wrongs you make with others, you can then begin to fix your own mistakes at the same time by correcting old behaviors and habits that didn't serve well.

5. Re-establishing Friendships/ Creating New Ones

Everything begins to line up when you trust that you'd made a mistake, and took the proper steps to go back and learn from the ones who showed you a better way. This is how we re-establish the love and trust for people we've lost. It might not bring everyone back to you, but in the future, it will keep like-minded people around you for longer. Also, you can gain confidence in knowing that they will appreciate what you do more than they did when they always picked on you for the little things you used to do wrong. In-turn, you can also teach them how they can improve. A true friend is always helpful in times like these and it's a true blessing to have someone around who can show you the way so that when or if you do get lost, the path is always there to turn back to and move forward from then onward.


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I have a love for many things, but a few that I discuss on my blog are fashion, business, and art. I hope these posts find you well. 

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